So I know I am going to get some criticism for this entry....
Let me start off by saying I have always been hard on myself for my weight. So of course after having a baby I am going to be just the same. I am simply writing this to vent!
Today will be 6 weeks since I had Dylan. Over the past 6 weeks my body has gone through a dramatic transformation. AFTER delivery ( because of the toxemia) I gained an estimated 50 pounds of fluid. Yes you read that right 50 pounds!! That was on top of the 37 pounds I gained during my pregnancy. At my first week check up with my doctor I was heavier than the morning I went to the hospital to deliver.. During my 2 stays in the hospital they were able to take a total 10 liters of fluid off of me by giving me a diuretic through an IV. Once I left the hospital I was prescribed a diuretic to help with blood pressure and excess fluid. One week later at my check up I was 19 pounds lighter. In a matter of 3 weeks I had gone from a very swollen & puffy well over 200 pound woman to a chunkier version of me that finally had ankles again! LOL With all of this being said I was pretty excited about how rapidly the numbers on the scale were going down! I was now 23 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight. I figured at this rate I would be back in my skinny jeans in no time.
At this time I was cleared by my Doctor to begin a light exercise regimen. I begin walking daily and doing one of my pregnancy workout dvds. This is when the waiting game begin....one week went by then two, and not a single pound was lost. By this time my doctor said I could begin easing back into my old exercise habits just no ab work or lifting over 10 pounds. (because of C Section) I joined the YMCA and immediately went to Zumba. Since then I have been walking & lifting light weights. Still no results! Tomorrow is my 6 week checkup & I am hoping to be cleared with no restrictions so I can really get back into the swing of things.
I know they say " it took 9 months to put it on ..." but I cant help but feel frustrated. Like I said earlier I am mainly writing this to vent but also so other women know they are not alone in this battle. Its hard to be stuck in this in between body, when you see or know other women who have a baby and one week later look like they did 9 months before. I didn't realize 6 weeks after having a baby I would still be wearing my maternity jeans. I pulled out my "fat" jeans ( my weight has been up & down over the years so I keep bigger sizes & smaller size pants around) the other day assuming they would fit...I was very wrong :(
I wish more women would talk about how they feel about their bodies after pregnancy. Or how hard it is for them to lose the weight. All we hear about is how fast this celebrity or that friend was back into her bikini. It makes the rest of us feel bad about ourselves. I wish people would tell you what the majority of us go through. No one tells you that after delivery your belly is like a bowl full of jelly! I thought that since I made it my entire pregnancy with out a single stretch mark that I was good to go. Once again wish someone had warned me. Now if someone had told me all the awkward & uncomfortable changes my body would go through after having the baby would I have ever decided to get pregnant...Of COURSE, but maybe then I would have been more realistic about how everything was going to happen. To all my pregnant friends..If you ask I promise to tell you all the Good, Bad & Ugly things pregnancy has to offer!!!
Ok ...that is all the negative venting about my weight I am going to do. Sometimes it just feels good to have a little pity party for yourself and then to move on. From here on out I promise nothing but positive remarks about my weight. That being said...I am very proud of how far I have come along. I just need to stop and remind myself of this sometimes. I know if I continue to workout & eat good I will eventually get back to the "old Brooke" I was last May. Until then I am going to try my hardest to enjoy my new body. I'm going to remind myself that without all of these changes I would not have received the most amazing gift..my sweet baby boy :) He means the world to me & has changed my life in the most incredible way. I Thank god everyday for giving us both back our health & allowing me the opportunity to be the best mother I can possibly be :)
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