Saturday, February 12, 2011

Feeling Guilty

Thurs Feb 10- Today I finally made the decsion to give up breastfeeding. After being put on the magnesium drip again on Sat it put me even more behind as far as milk production. I also can not breastfeed with one of my medications. My plan was to continue to pump until I finished the meds. I have finally realized that my plan just isnt practical.

It is so frustrating because I am spending a huge part of my day pumping to build up my milk supply but I am not seeing much improvment. It is also so hard because I am spending all that time to pour it down the sink!

I was very upset today when I finally made the decsion. My entire pregnancy I wanted so bad to breastfeed. I read everything I could and took a class so I could be more than prepared. There are so many benefits to breastfeeding your child it makes me feel sad & very guilty that I am not going to.

I remember the Dr's at the NICU telling me that any amount of breastmilk your baby gets is better than none. I do feel good that we were breastfeeding ( not exclusively) at the hospital and he did get some of the added benefits for a while. I also know plenty of babies that are/were formula fed & there is nothing wrong with that at all.

It all comes down to dissapointment in myself.  I know I cant beat myself up for things I can not control.

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